Creative rejuvenation — the journey back to writing
It's time, yet again, for that liminal ritual where I come back to the blog after a long absence to tell you why, this time, I'm returning to creativity to stay. Why, this time, it's different.
Except that, this time, it actually is different, because this time around I'm 42 years old, I've had some success in my life, and I've learned a thing or two about discipline and its rewards.
It's clear as day that an ever-present creative discipline is exactly what is missing in my life, and today I'd like to publicly state my commitment to it.
A relentless loop of excuses not to create
While my blog is brimming with poetry and I released my debut book Poet Iconic, Vol. 1 in 2019, the truth remains that I've been avoiding creative pursuits long before, during, and after that time.
A relentless loop of excuses – lack of time, discomfort with certain topics, and the fear of expression only unearthing more things that need to be expressed – has prevented me from embracing the solace that art once brought me.
This toxic cocktail has left me feeling like I'm wasting away spiritually, and that I'm missing a profound piece of my soul.
Unselfishly finding the time to write
I've never shied away from sharing poems on topics I openly discuss, but what about those delving into past difficult relationships or family situations shrouded in secrecy?
Additionally, novels linger on the back burner, the completion of one chapter leading to the daunting prospect of more editing, second-guessing, and the demanding tasks of publishing and promotion.
The prevailing thought: There's no time for such selfish endeavors when there's work to be done for others. It would be selfish to take that time for myself, wouldn't it? (No, it wouldn't.) And is there even time? (Yes. A whole lot of it.)
Juggling mundane priorities with creative pursuits
Contrary to my complaints, there is time. Juggling caregiving responsibilities for both my partner and mother, along with handling the complications of my own spinal stenosis and myasthenia gravis, presents a heavy load. Yet, it's a load shared by many, including many of you who are reading this. The cliché about not lacking time but having misplaced priorities holds true.
Case in point: Back when I was experiencing some success as a fanfiction author with a pen name on Tumblr (shh, yep, that was a thing!), I carved out just enough time to write 400 words a day, and that was enough!
I was also elated, overflowing with joy, not just because my work was being appreciated by others (6,000 followers will do a lot for your self-esteem!) but because it felt SO good to create.
Don't tell me I can't carve out time for 400 words now. I know without question that I could trade some mindless scrolling for two or three times that!
So what am I really afraid of? Why do I avoid the thing that makes me happiest?
Intimidated by the work but returning to it anyway
There's a lot that I've been afraid of, including facing the most authentic parts of myself that I buried long ago, and also just that reluctance to have eyes on my work.
And if I spend time in that work, writing it and honing it, I'll find that I could use some improvement, some enrichment, some classes... which, you guessed it, will take more of that time that I DO have. But so what? It'll make me better and make life worth living. It's worth every bit of effort and every bit of time.
The good news is that, in the past six months, I have indeed invested some of that time. It's been a bit of a rehearsal so you haven't seen the product of it here. I've been filming and editing vlogs that I've yet to post on YouTube, but some of them will definitely see the light of day. I've been gently nurturing my Instagram and I've seen some organic growth there, connecting with likeminded artists, and that feels so good!
It's all baby steps but it's been genuinely good, for the right reasons, and in the right time.
A few ways I'm ushering in a creative renaissance
I used to build my castles in the sky, but it turns out that it's a bit more practical to build them down here on the ground! So here are some concrete ways that I am prioritizing my creativity to usher in a creative renaissance, and I hope these tips might be helpful for you too:
Morning Pages: Julia Cameron's method of writing 750 words of stream-of-consciousness freewriting each day is a practice worth returning to, and I highly recommend learning more about that in her classic book, The Artist's Way.
Listening to music on Spotify: Spotify is a delicious little tool for the creative mind. I love to create curated playlists to match the mood or theme of my writing. When I'm avoiding creativity or feel like I don't have time to write, I'll also avoid listening to music because it's bound to inspire those creative thoughts that I'm avoiding! So instead of doing my usual, I'm actively seeking that muse.
Going to concerts: It had been 15 long years since I'd been to a concert, but this past July, I finally ventured out to see Joey McIntyre's solo show at District 142 in Wyandotte. He always lights me on fire creatively and this was no exception. I've already got tickets to see New Kids on the Block and 30 Seconds to Mars in 2024 and I know those will not only be fun nights out but also huge investments in my own creativity!
Filming and editing vlogs: Starting a YouTube channel has been a dream of mine for many years, and what better way to show my personality and give my writing new life in another form of media? Some of my favorite artists are vloggers and I'm excited to join the club!
Sharing blogs with readers like you: This is a key piece of the puzzle. When my creativity is healthy and flowing, the blog posts flow too. It's a great way to hold myself accountable, keep my writing game sharp, and hopefully grow my audience too.
New posts every Monday
I do feel a little rusty, so please pardon the awkwardness of my words stepping on each other's toes as I begin this dance of blogging yet again.
If you don't see a new blog post here every Monday, please do comment and hold me accountable! I promise to appreciate it and reward you with more awkward words, haha! 😋
With lots of love and gratitude for those who have stuck around for the long haul! I appreciate you!
