Discarding Darkness — a poem about letting go of what's long gone

Discarding Darkness

Letting go of darkness.
What it's like to try to kiss the hand
that is and always has been intangible.
How it feels to wrap my arms
around a spectre.
Empty.

This day tried to come
a couple of times before,
a decade ago or more.
I wouldn't wake
so it went away.
I thought it might just stay.

Denial was warm and cozy.
Why grieve when I could dream?
But even limitless revisions won't rewrite
a thoughtless thief into a thriller knight.
I can't recover what's been taken
but I can choose not to dwell on the loss.

Before I jump,
I'll process the hell out of this pain.
I'll filter your cruel, noxious poison
till it's sparking water fit to bathe in,
and then I'll let it rain
until every tear is washed away.

Discarding darkness.
Empty.
Room to accommodate
the sun's rays.