Connecting the threads and finding the truth

Lately my thoughts have felt like they were coming from a centered place. An authentic place that I haven't been to in a while. Perhaps a disjointed place, much like this formless blog post, but it will come together as it grows. Everything that I have gone through, particularly in 2012, really put me in a spot where I was unable to continue the denial. I couldn't look certain people in the face anymore and pretend that things were OK.

Going back through my blog posts as I readied this new site to be published was really an eye-opener because I saw just how connected those threads really were... I have been busy just trying to survive it all, with the vertigo attacks and bills to be paid, and I honestly didn't realize that all the family drama had been such a trend. Disconnected relationships, separate situations... it didn't add up until long after it was all done.

I kind of want this to be my last blog post on this topic, though that's probably foolish because in this situation there's a goldmine of content for poems and songs and other artistic work. I long to move past it all and put it away, but this is where my work evolves. Expressing the way it felt to grow up under this weight and then continuing to write about the journey out from beneath it.

And what's next? My God, what is next when I don't have these internal insecurities and external judgments flooding through my world? Beautiful things. Authentic love and connections with people who are not out to get me. I've already had that for a long time, but now I'll have it without anything distracting me from it.

I thank you for being a part of it.

Farewell, North Pointe: Saying goodbye as my former elementary school closes its doors for the last time

Keek: Rainy day off, video blogging on the porch