Pacific - NaPoWriMo Day #10

Pacific

Icepick headaches—
nightmares of venomous snakes.
These are the things
that jolt me awake.

I know,
down to my soul,
that I have these unsweetened dreams
because I feel out of control.

I handle uncertainty
like a child handles patience.
I want to live forever.
I want no pain
and no frustration.

But that's not the design
of this life—this situation.

I must find calm in the storm of it.
I must create the cool in the warmth of it.
I have to channel my ancestors
who held it together
so elegantly,
no matter the weather.

Sometimes I envy
their position
six feet beneath,
because wherever their spirits are,
they must be soaring and free.
Not trapped down here in worry,
like me.

Come and sweep through me,
pacific winds west to east.
Calm this crying baby
that still inhabits me.